Butterflies In My Stomach

Yes.

I'm very nervous.

Why, you ask?

In two days, at 7.15am when I wake up, I will be in front of the computer with the A2 results portal displayed on the monitor. I will type in my username and password and what comes out will determine my next stage in life. Interestingly, the aftermath boils down to three paths..

Path 1 - Good results. NTU offers..I get a scholarship and I study my ass out in Singapore, working there once I graduate

Path 2 - Good, but not good enough.. NTU offers, I either obtain a government loan or I study in Nottingham University in Malaysia

Path 3 - Pathetic results..Well, I rather not imagine what I have to go through if I get this..

Despite me saying that, I am worried. I knew I did not do very well in most of my papers. I screwed Paper 5 for both Physics and Chemistry. I was mentally disturbed during Further Maths Paper 1 [got the news that my father had cancer the day before].

I know that my AS results might help me pull my marks up but still, the bulk is in A2.. I'm scared I won't do good enough. I really want to study in NTU. Not because its Singapore but because I want a change in environment. As well as, trying to be independent and not to be bothered by some people that I probably shouldn't mention here. I can't back down now. I can't turn back the clock to fix what's wrong.

I can only hope. Hope that I get the results I need.

Hope.

Funny how I have to depend on something so superstitious as that for this period of time.

Whatever comes, I will take it.

For good or for bad, its done.

CCW