It was a blast while it lasted ..

It certainly was a blast as we met up for about one of the last times we could ever meet up in high school .. and yes .. it was fun while it lasted ..

High school ..

The life we enjoyed when we were in Form 1 till Form 5 . The life we came to like as we learned various subjects , further increasing our knowledge .. if only , for the moment .

It was fun while it lasted .

Now, the times have slowly evolved . We adjust ourselves to new surroundings. We adept to our new life . We lose friends and gained new ones in return .

That cycle does not end .

We will forever be changing . We will never stop . While the Earth continues to spin on its axis , we will pursue greater heights , never stopping .. even if we are rotting six feet under .

We will NEVER EVER stop .

That is why we humans are to be differentiated from animals . We understand the truth in words when we see it . And we know what to do ..

Do we?

CCW

Words from the wise ..

If you can see the future , don't ever look back . Cast off your fear . Look forward . Go forward . Never stand still . Retreat and you will age . Hesitate and you will die .

Being Where I Belonged

I sighed as i made my way to the library after the Maths period was over. "Now, to spend the hour doing nothing until the club meeting....Now why don't you come out, HD?" I muttered. He stepped out into the light with a frown on his face. "Funny,"he said,"Didn't know you knew i was there.."I snorted and sighed again.

HD laughed."What's with that stupid face of yours? You look like a dead person."he asked. I looked at him and gazed at the numerous number of people that were coming out of and going into the library. "Have you ever felt that you can't control your life and that something is pulling the strings for you? Sometimes, it pulls you in the correct direction.. Sometimes, it brings you to where you don't feel nice at all." HD looked at me, his brow creasing.

"The same question again?" he asked, "You truly never change,huh? Hmm.. I had my fill of life though yes of course, everybody goes through the "pulling strings" thingy.." We walked down to the cafeteria and grabbed a can of coffee each. "I suspect this has something to do with your parents?"he asked. I snorted. "Cheh, no way i can hide things from you,eh? Well, more or less.. Its just that, my dad's been pestering me to apply for scholarships until today...". It was HD's turn to snort. "And here i was thinking what was the problem.. Hmm, you are who you are. And you do what you do. No change in that. You choose what you wanna do and don't listen to people pestering you. That's how you live in life. You take the bull by the horns and you do it your way. Though, in my case, it goes further,"he added as he gave his wicked smile.

"I kill those who get in my way."

I looked at him and laughed."But of course,"he continued,"that would be unwise and irrational at this situation. All i'm saying is that you gotta just believe in yourself and don't let other people intervene in your course. You might meet obstacles. but you know what to do with the obstacles, do you?" he asked. I nodded.

"Of course. Just who do you think i am?"

HD smiled. "Glad that's sorted out,"he said. He looked at the rainy sky that perfectly suited my emotions at that particular time. "If that is all, i have an appointment to catch.. I'll see you around.. real soon"he said before departing. " Oh and remember one thing,"he said as he left.

"If you know where your heart belongs, then you will know where you actually belong? And I don't give a damn if you get it or not"he smiled and waved goodbye.

I stared at the open sky and the continuously pouring rain. Where I belonged,huh?,I thought. Very well, I have decided. My moves are already played. All that's left is the outcome. And, yes, I don't give a damn if they don't get it.

This is where i belong.

This is where my heart is at rest.

This is where i can truly shine.

And i don't fucking give a damn if you diss the hell out of me.

CCW

Broken Memory

Ten years has gone and passed. That which has happened about a decade ago, still burned freshly in my memories. The scene that remains etched in my mind, even if I were to brainwash myself a thousand times. I still remember that faithful day when a life was ripped away from the surface of the Earth. I remembered the agony that flowed in my veins, the horrible feeling in my gut, the wrenching pain that slowly erupted as I gazed upon the still body of the person that I cared about. My own bloodline, my sister, lay dead on the floor, murdered. At that moment, I could not only feel pain.

I felt anger. Frustration boiling inside of me. I recalled the laughter of the murderer as he looked down on me. I can still smell the scent of her blood from the fatal wound he gave her. I remembered hearing a roar of rage released from my mouth. I remembered nothing else after that. When I came to my senses, it was to find the murderer’s blood on my hands and the murderer lying next to me, lifeless. I remembered the sirens of the police car, recalled the yell of agony that came out of me, noticed that I was being handcuffed and finally came back to my original self in jail. For two days and nights, I wept and screamed in frustration.

That was the ordeal at that time. For two years I was in jail, awaiting the death sentence that I knew was bound to be given out. None came. I was acquitted due to the lack of solid evidence. The murderer was dead. My sister was killed. I survived it. Survivor’s guilt was all I had in me. When I was released, I wasted myself in the pub, drinking and getting drunk. That prolonged for a couple of months. I went into depression. I smoked and took drugs to relieve the pain. Part of me knew that all of this was wrong. That it was a stupid irrational thing to do. I shut myself out of reality and entered my own fantasy. Finally, I did the worst thing a human with a life can do.

I decided to commit suicide.

I was lying in bed for the whole day after recovering from a hangover the previous night when the thought came to me. It was better to end my life, I thought. I have nothing else in this world except her. She was my beloved sister, the one I sworn to protect. Now, she was gone. Taken away from me. I held a knife to my wrist. This was how I was going to end my miserable, pathetic life. The knife was mere millimeters from my wrist when I caught sight of a picture of her. I stopped and gazed at the picture of my sister. Her smiling face with my naturally frowning face beside. The knife fell from my hand as the life flooded back into my eyes. With shaking hands, I removed the picture from the frame. I choked as tears welled in my eyes. With the picture pressed on my chest, I uttered a single word before the tears became too much to bear.

“Zoey…,”

No matter what has happened, I had survived the incident. The picture became my source of inspiration. I picked myself up from the ground. I vowed to live so that I was the proof that she had lived. I started a new leaf. I got a job in a musical instruments shop as a cashier. From then on, I learnt to play the piano. Every piano piece I created was in her memory. Zoey loved to play the piano when she lived. The melody of the piano was a usual in our house. I would be beside her as she played the piano, encouraging her but never to play the piano myself.

The shop owner was aware of my predicament and was kind to me. He allowed me time to practice the piano and even thought me himself. I was lucky though I did not really felt that way. Eventually, I rose out of my shell and began to be my past self before the incident. I regained my friends and lived a normal life. The way everything should be.

Now, ten years has passed. I was my normal self again. However, I still smoked once every now and then to relieve the pain of recalling that incident. I became a piano professional, creating piano plays and my own songs but never making it big. The shop owner who had helped me before was always there to aid me. He was like a father to me. Zoey and I stayed by ourselves after our parents met their end in an accident when we were very young. We still managed somehow, thankfully because we had enough money to support us.

Ten years passed after the incident. I was supposed to be meeting a pianist who wanted to collaborate with me on an album. As I sat in the coffee shop which Zoey and I frequent, I could not help remembering the times we used to eat in the shop. Her radiant face as she laughed at my jokes. Her dimpled cheeks as she smiled. Her eyes which practically shone all the time. I smiled as I went on that nostalgic trip. And then, I saw her.

She was around the same height as Zoey was. Her smile was wide and she had dimpled cheeks. She saw me and sat opposite me. My eyes were wide with shock as I gazed at the person opposite me as though I had seen a ghost. She looked questioningly at my stunned face and laughed.

“ Seen a ghost or something scary? You look funny. You must be Andy Chan. Nice to meet you. My name is Zoey Lim, the pianist who wished to collaborate with you.”

The End.