Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Commencing

I leaned on my car as i viewed the sunset that filled the sky with an orange blaze. This was one of those times where the world does not seem so bad. I breathed in the air as the scenery etched itself in my memory. This was something to remember, for as long as i exist. The orange sky. The white clouds. The setting sky. Everything was perfect. Although, i knew reality was not a bit like that.

"This is just like you," a voice said, "I knew i would find you here." I turned to see HD beside me, taking in the scenery as i was. I nodded. "Yeah, this is one of those places where i can relax and forget about reality." HD snorted. "Whatever you do, you can't runaway from reality. No matter how much you try to forget, you cannot forget facts. Ignore them as you might, but there are still there. Which is why i'm here."

I looked at him, eyebrows raised.
"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about what you did last time. The fact that you threw away certain things to get along with your life. The fact that you gave me your anger, sloth, gluttony, envy, jealousy, pain, guilt and greed just so you can go on. The fact that you gave them to me because you cannot control them. And the assumption that i could control it. Well, i could. But only to a certain extent. I did not realize that each of those forces that you gave me gained an entity of its own at the moment when you were at your weakest. I presume you know what i'm talking about?"

HD's words rang in my ears as i grasped the situation. I understood what he was trying to say. As i opened my mouth to reply, i paused. Anger. Sloth. Gluttony. Envy. Jealousy. Pain. Guilt. Greed. These were the negative forces that i had stripped off from myself. I removed them from myself so that i could control myself and not be consumed by the dark. As cliched as it sounds, i understood the magnitude of the situation. HD was looking at me with that serious eyes of his.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked, "You knew this would happen the moment you became invulnerable and succumbed to your weakness." I nodded. "I know," I muttered,"This is something i will have to settle fast." Eight entities. I would have to face them again and prove that i could go on without them. The emotions. Negative feelings. I do not need them. Yet, they are part of the human God created. HD turned his gaze to what was left of the setting sun.

"Looks like i don't have a choice. I'll lend you a hand in this matter. After all, it is my problem,too."

I smiled as i stare at the sky. The days are gonna get rough. Its time to do what i have done before. To break down the negativity that resides within my body. To change what is there to be changed. To minimize the side effects. To make sure that i do not succumb to the temptations of negativity. This is the showdown between us and what i have thrown away.

This is the Commencing.

CCW

2 comments:

A.RON said...

just wanna clarify about your phrase, "Yet, they are part of the human God created." indeed God created man but NOT all the negativity. wanna clear that up, just in case you thought otherwise. anyway, i'm sure you'll get over your circumstances. like you always do. fix your gaze on the Almighty and all will be fine. peace.

Chang Ching Wei, CCW said...

HUMANS are created with all that negativity in their being. Whether or not they choose to exploit it is a choice which HUMANS themselves must make. No HUMAN is born without those negativity in them. GOD created the essence, whether or not our ideologies collide or coincide, that is for each of us to clarify for ourselves. If GOD did not create the positive and the negative, then no one did. Unless of course, one does not believe in the presence of God.