Happy Birthday To Me

I wish myself a very Happy Birthday on the day before SPM .. lol..

Happy Birthday to Alex ...

Happy Birthday to the rest of the people on this globe who happens to be borned on this day ..

Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday to you ..
Happy Birthday to everybody ...
Happy Birthday to you ..

I'm feeling sentimental now .. lol ..

What with SPM in a day's time ..

CCW / HD

Lord Loss ..

Lord Loss sows all the sorrows of the world ,
Lord Loss seeds the grief-starched trees ,

In the center of the web , lowly Lord Loss bows his head .

Mangled hands, naked eyes ,
Fanged snakes his soul line ,
Curled inside like textured skin ,
Bloody curdled sheets for skin ,

In the center of the web, vile Lord Loss torments the dead .

Over strands of red , lord loss crawls ,
Dispensing pain, despising all ,
Shuns friends , nurtures foes ,
Ravages hope , breeds woe ,
Drinks moons , devours suns ,
Twirls his thumbs till the reaper comes ,

In the center of the web , lush Lord Loss is all that's left .

This is the poem of Lord Loss .. The demon of sorrow .. one who cares .. one who scares .. and one who tortures for the sake of sorrow ..

HD

Reflecting ..

Reflection..
Looking back at things ...
Thinking back about the mistakes and the actions i have taken ...
All of it...
Wishing that i had made another choice ...
Feels like i should have did something else ..
Feels like i should have made a different decision ...
Wishing that i had did the right thing ...

But...

What was the right thing?
What was the astute move ?
What was the appropriate measure that i should have taken ?
What was my mistake at that time ?

And then ..

How should i rectify it ?
How should i have seen the situation ?

What should have been my perception ?
What should i have thought ?

Maybe ..

I could have done better ..

Perhaps ..

There was another way to get through it ...

Either way ..

I know my limits ...
But i pretend to overlook it ..
I don't want the limits ..
I want to overcome those limits ...
Even if i have to sacrifice something important ..
Even if it means doing something that only i can see the benefit ..

Because ..

I'm afraid ..
Afraid that my limits will destroy me ..
Afraid that I would shy away from it ..
Scared of the consequences ..
Frightened by the possibility of failing everything ..

The words of comfort from my friends ..

They mean nothing to me at this stage ...
They are worthless ..
Not that i do not appreciate them ..
There are others controlling my life that figures the words of comfort are poisons ..
Dangerous things that can affect my performance ..

Still ..

I believe in myself ..
I believe in my friends ...
I believe that i can step forward ..

Smash the boundaries ...
Break down the barrier ...
Realize my dreams ..

After all ...

I am the Lost Soul ..
I have no place of comfort ..
Comfort to me is ..
In myself ..

And in myself ..
There is hope ...
There is the flames of determination ..

There is my very essence of life ..

Because i can ..

CCW/HD

ZzZzZz

One word ...


STRESS!!!!!!!!

Doll ( Lia & Tada Aoi )

doll
Vocals: Lia, Tada Aoi
Lyrics: Maeda Jun
Composition: Maeda Jun
Arrangement: ANANT-GARDE EYES

A doll that doesn’t have a heart
Was born from warm hands
It doesn’t laugh
It doesn’t talk, either

I want you to hear my thoughts, too, someday
They won’t become words
But I muster the extent of my strength
Because I know I’m going to live

The doll learned the meaning of the words called “thank you”
But it hasn’t used
Or said them yet

I want you to hear my thoughts, too, someday
Even if they don’t become words
I’ll muster the extent of my strength
Because I’ll tell it you: “Thank you”

Because the wind came out a bit
And pushed my back
I prepared for my journey again

I want you to hear my thoughts someday
They won’t become words
But I muster the extent of my strength
Because I’ll cry, shout, and tell them to you

If I can go to the distant sea someday
To the edge of the world’s edge
If I can make my way to such a place
I wonder how I’ll be able to feel then

doll
Vocals: Lia, Tada Aoi

Atataka na te kara umareta
Kokoro o motanai ningyou
Warau koto wa naku
Hanasu koto mo nai

Itsuka kiite hoshii kono omoi mo
Kotoba ni wa naranai kedo
Chikara no kagiri o furishibotte
Ikite iku koto o shiru kara

Ningyou wa arigatou to iu kotoba no imi o oboeta
Demo mada tsukau koto mo
Hanasu koto mo nai

Itsuka kitte hoshii kono omoi mo
Kotoba ni wa naranakute mo
Chikara no kagiri o furshibotte
Arigatou sou tsutaete iku kara

Kaze ga sukoshi dete kite
Boku no se o osu kara
Mata tabi no shitaku o suru koto ni shita n da

Itsuka kiite hoshii kono omoi o
Kotoba ni wa naranai kedo
Chikara no kagiri o furishibotte
Naite sakende tsutaeru kara

Itsuka yukeru nara tooi umi e
Sekai no hate no hate made
Sonna basho ni tadoritsuketara
Donna kimochi ni nareru no kana

Yet another song depicting the strength of Lia's vocals..

HD

Scarborough Fair

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Without no seams nor needlework
Then she'll be a true love of mine

Tell her to find me an acre of land
Parsley, sage, rosemary, & thyme
Between the salt water and the sea strand
Then she'll be a true love of mine

Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
And to gather it all in a bunch of heather
Then she'll be a true love of mine

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine

Lyrics sang by Tada Aoi in Gunslinger Il Teatrino and originated from Sarah Brightman

As the song states , it is a song about the Scarborough Fair .. It has a very nice melody to it ..

During the late Middle Ages the seaside town of Scarborough (now a resort) was an important venue for tradesmen from all over England. It was host to a huge 45-day trading event, starting August 15, which was exceptionally long for a fair in those times. Merchants came to it from all areas of England, Norway, Denmark, the Baltic states and the Byzantine Empire. Scarborough Fair originated from a charter granted by King Henry III of England on 22 January 1253. The charter, which gave Scarborough many privileges, stated "The Burgesses and their heirs forever may have a yearly fayre in the Borough, to continue from the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary until the Feast of St Michael next following". (On the modern Roman Catholic calendar, the equivalent dates are August 15 to September 29.) Naturally, such a large occasion attracted a lot more than just tradesmen; they needed to be entertained and fed, therefore large crowds of buyers, sellers and pleasure-seekers attended the fair. Prices were determined by ‘Supply and demand’, with goods often being exchanged through the barter system. Records show that from 1383 Scarborough’s prosperity slumped.

In the early 17th century competition from other towns' markets and fairs and increasing taxation saw further collapse of the Fair until it eventually became financially untenable. The market was revived again in the 18th century, but due to intense competition Scarborough Fair finally ended in 1788.

The traditional 'Scarborough Fair' no longer exists but a number of low-key celebrations take place every September to mark the original event. Scarborough Fair in July 2006 witnessed Medieval Jousting Competitions, hosted by English Heritage in addition to the usual attractions.

The song tells the tale of a young man, who tells the listener to ask his former lover to perform for him a series of impossible tasks, such as making him a shirt without a seam and then washing it in a dry well, adding that if she completes these tasks he will take her back. Often the song is sung as a duet, with the woman then giving her lover a series of equally impossible tasks, promising to give him his seamless shirt once he has finished.

As the versions of the ballad known under the title "Scarborough Fair" are usually limited to the exchange of these impossible tasks, many suggestions concerning the plot have been proposed, including the hypothesis that it is a song about the Plague.

As the song spread, it was adapted, modified, and rewritten to the point that dozens of versions existed by the end of the 18th century, although only a few are typically sung nowadays. The references to "Scarborough Fair" and the refrain "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" date to nineteenth century versions, and the refrain may have been borrowed from the ballad Riddles Wisely Expounded.

Much thought has gone into attempts to explain the refrain "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme", although, as this is found only in relatively recent versions, there may not be much to explain. The variations thereof), which may reflect the original emphasis on the lady's chastity. Slightly younger versions often contain one of a group of related refrains:

• Sober and grave grows merry in time
• Every rose grows merry with time
• There's never a rose grows fairer with time

These are usually paired with "Once she was a true love of mine" or some variant. "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" may simply be an alternate rhyming refrain to the original. Folksong scholar Märta Ramsten states that folksong refrains containing enumerations of herbs — spices and medical herbs — occur in many languages, including Swedish, Danish, German, and English.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme may also refer to the pagan belief, that when together, can be a love charm.

HD

What must be done

"Idiot ," I muttered as he relate to me what had transpired in school , " That was very stupid of you . Aaron and Shawn were right , you know , you really are a pussy ... " I looked as he stared out at the open sky . He had returned from school with a melancholy look which immediately told me something bad had happened .

" Well , " he said " At least , i didn't need to pay in the end . Though , doubtless i was a fool to be so weak against such a thing . " He continued to gaze at the sky .

I sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder . " At least , it cleared up , " I told him " Though if it happened again and you screw it again , I'm changing your Christian name to Pussy . " He smiled at that . " Apt name , don't you think ? " I shook my head and heaved another sigh .

" You really are a soft-hearted person . It could kill you , you know ," I said . " What am i to do ? " he muttered . " That's just the way i am . Pitying other people , putting myself in trouble for the sake of others . Doing nothing for my sake . "

I looked at him and something clicked .

" Is it because of what happened 5 years ago ? " I asked . He froze . " Its noth- " he spluttered .

" No ."

I grabbed his shoulder and shook him roughly . " I thought you were over it . What the hell made you still want to atone for what you could not have avoided ?! It wasn't your fault it happened .. "

" It was , " he muttered , " Everything was my fault that day . If we had instead stayed home to clean the room , if we had not followed that route , if we had taken the normal way home , if i was strong enough , if- " He stopped as i landed a punch on his chest , stunning him .

" Enough with the Ifs , " I shouted , " The past is the past . You wanna be of use ? Stop fucking moping ! Get your act together !! " I yelled the last word as i grabbed his shirt . " Stop , " i landed a blow " being " another blow " an idiot ! " the last blow was parried as he blocked my punch and landed a punch of his own .

I was pushed back and we both stood up , eyes blazing at each other . I dropped my guard disgustedly .

" Sorry , " i muttered sullenly . " I just flew off the handle . It wouldn't happen again ."

" No , you were right . Thank you . " he smiled as he extended his hand . Shaking hands , he continued " What can i do ? What can i do for someone i care the most about ? "

I removed my hand and grabbed my bag . Before leaving , i turned back and looked at him straight in the eye .

" Its not what you can do . Its what you must do for the one you care the most about ," I said . " Remember that , and don't screw up the next time . "

With that , I took my leave . Leaving him where he was . A changed person .

HD

What's there to face ..

SPM is coming ..

It seems that i can't take my mind off the invariably major examination that will determine my future .. Whether i succeed in life , or fail all together . Thus far , I have been doing rather normal in life . Performing my duties , mixing around , moving around , going forward .

But , I have more failures than success .

I realized , as i write this , that i have encountered many things .. most of it are , to the extent , simple for me to achieve . Yet , things don't come out the way we always want .

I stumble along simple silly mistakes .. miscalculating ... making downright errors ... Errors so happily pointed out by my friends . Some of it caused by my own actions . Others occur because i do not know how to handle them .

I want it to end .

I want to be able to face the odds .. to beat the odds .. despite me being incapable in certain areas .. i will do my best ..

But is my best really .. the best ?

CCW