Reminiscence .. and those of yet to come ..

I've refrain from writing my narrative of the WYSC 2008 because its simply too long !So i'll do that in a later post .. Meanwhile ..

   Nearly 2 years has passed since 14th of January 2007 . I'm still reeling inside about how foolish i was at that time . I always thought i could do better . Ah , thoughts remain thoughts . It's all in the past but all this while , even if my sights have changed , what lies in me remains in me . Still remembering the times before where i could relax and the problems just seem to vanish . Remembering how i could just release my emotions and just forget the worse of my conditions . Helping out ... Comforting.. But now , it's just a fragment in my swirling thoughts . Most of the nights , before i tune out from reality , i keep asking myself , was it really unreachable ? I do not believe that there are things that you just can't achieve . Nothing is impossible . Now , i realize , my resolution for 2009 has to be stronger . I have failed more times than i can possibly imagine and now , i must break through ...

My 2009 resolution ... to be a better person than i am now , even if it means sacrificing everything and to get 12A1's in SPM . If i have to do it , I will do it . No backtracks . I'm doing this no matter what i have to give up . Hell . I would even give up my pastimes to achieve my goal . I am thinking of not joining the Chess team in 2009 .. not sure why exactly . I might even quit beatboxing for awhile , that's how low i've sunk !! Get the hell out of these things... BUT i can't . Know why ? Because i don't have the fucking balls to change all this . My weakness is giving in too easily .. I tend to pity people more than i pity my fucking self . It's this fucking problem in my life that has forced me to just endure and then burn myself to the max..

 Throughout the 2008 yearend holidays , i learnt many things . Important or not , the judgement is for later . I pushed myself to the limit in 2008 . I just didn't show it . I strived so far and reached in so much so that i could be able to cope with all the fucking things that i have to deal with . All this for the cause of ? For preparing myself for 2009 . I will be shortening my lifespan by half in 2009 . Breaking my limits . Pushing myself further and in return , the taste of my own life and victory in my resolution is the only thing that will drive me to go on ...

   LIFE HAS TO GO ON ..

HD signing off ..