Pain: The War

I thought, that when I faced something tough..something that I would endure to break through, I would always remember it. And then, when I face it again, I know how to go against it. I know the countermeasures, the methods in which I can use to get through it. But for some reason, this war, albeit being caused by the same thing over and over again, still manages to completely destroy me. It strips me of all reasoning, it renders everything that I have been building up till now useless. It leaves me empty. 

It was always the same battlefield. A barren wasteland, however cliched it might sound. And yet, its not an army I'm facing. Its only one person. The same person. 

Myself. 

Only, the me I'm facing is a lot stronger than me. A lot more violent. A lot more sinister. 

He is my pain. 

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I gasped for air as I fell yet again on the earth, bleeding from the wounds inflicted on my arms and legs. My right hand, holding on to my weapon, felt so weak, begging to release its clench. Pain stood over me, looking at my broken body with emptiness in his eyes. His eyes were like death itself, cold, calm and dark. His blade dripped with the blood from my own body, a result of the various wounds he inflicted on me as try as i might, I could not reciprocate.

Pain smirked as he spat on the ground. "A pity," he said, "I expected a little more fight from you, Andrew. What happened to you? You used to be strong, adamant, full of violence. Now, look at you. You are nothing more than trash. You subdued Anger, you hide from Envy...and now, you wish to defy me?" He brought the blade down on my left arm as I barely dodged the strike. A new wound formed on my already bloodied arm, spraying the ground crimson with blood.

"No," Pain shook his head, "This is even worse. I sense rage in you, but you do not use it. I sense you wanting your blade to be like mine, and yet, you do nothing for it. I sense the very thing you can use to defeat me and yet..." Pain laughed mirthlessly.

"You do not wish to use it."
"You want to defeat me."Pain continued, "with only the strength from that frail body of yours. You thought that you could defeat me without the use of your rage and your spite. How wrong  you are, Andrew. There are things in this world that requires hate, envy, rage and destruction.You might say that rage and envy affects your decisions, but that is only stereotyping it. However much the rage is, if there is logic in the path, logic precedes it. However much the envy builds, if there is resistance and obstructions, then envy will only take you so far."

I struggled to maintain on my feet as he delivered his speech. My mind struggled to find an argument, something to counter his words, but none came. I clenched my teeth in frustration as no words came from my mouth. Pain sniffed in disdain. "You know I'm telling the truth," Pain continued, "You know that deep inside you, you realize how foolish you are. And yet, you do not want to unleash it. Your anger is not from rage itself but merely a small indignation that you can never hope to show. You want to be angry but a part of you doesn't want to."

"I must teach you, Andrew, what it is like to not have a say in things."

Pain dashed towards me, his blade barely missing my heart as he plunged the blade deep into my lungs. As i opened my mouth to scream in pain, he slammed his hand on my mouth, restricting it and forcing me in a silent retch of agony. "No, Andrew," Pain roared "This is what you must suffer when you fight against me! I will not have you screaming in pain. Pain is only for those who go through hardships and suffering. You do not go through those.All you do is shrivel and grovel to others, accepting what is yours and neglecting what can be yours. I want you to know just how weak you are, how foolish you are now."

Pain ripped his blade out of my body and flung me to the ground.

I couldn't breathe as the blade had punctured one of my lungs. As I desperately gasped for air, I look at Pain's face. Of course, he was my pain. He would have removed my sense of pain but I could register the increasing difficulty of breathing and my vision begin to darken. I swung my weapon blindly, hoping that at least, i can deal a single blow to him. Pain carelessly dodge my reckless swing and proceeded to slash the back of my body. As he delivered the wound, he returned a little of my sense of pain into my nervous system.

I was screaming in pain before my knees had touched the ground. The numerous wounds from before begin to make themselves present. The pain continued to build as i trash weakly on the ground, trying as hard as i can to contain the pain. But my mouth would not listen, the screaming did not stop. Pain looked at me disgustedly and threw his blade down.

"7 years. That was how long," said Pain, "I watched you discard everything you once were 7 years ago. I watched you shape yourself into a being where people could easily use you. There was no resistance. There was only acceptance. You would force yourself to carry the burden even when you know the burden is not for you to carry. Why? Why do this? Why do you force my hand? You should know that the more pain you suffer, the stronger i become. You have made yourself into a fool. And fools do not live."

Pain turned around and begin to leave. I wanted to stop him but the pain was still unbearable. I was reduced to gasping as even my mouth begin to tire. The vocal chords within me exhausted till all i could manage was a feeble whimper as the blood pool under me grew larger with every passing moment. I look up to see Pain leaving me to die on the ground...

And then, I died.

To be continued.