The Undefined Darkness

*****HD*****

I walked aimlessly around the busy streets of the city, aimlessly I said but in fact, my mere perambulation was but a way to remove the worrisome thoughts that clouded the entity of my mind. I looked at every building, every vehicle and every human that walked past me. I looked at the layout, the infrastructures that stand so proudly in the heart of the city. As I witness a few tourists eagerly snapping photos at god-knows-what, I blot out the thoughts in my mind.

*****CCW*****

I followed my mother to the hypermarket today, obtaining the items I required to be brought to my room in my uni. As I waked, I observed the happy, sad and angry expressions that were on the faces of the people that walked past me. And then, I saw my own face. There was nothing of that sort on my face. It was lifeless. Eyes without the slightest sparkle. There was neither a frown nor a smile. There was no wrinkles of anger nor depletion of eyebrows to portray despair. There were only dark bags underneath my eyes, an empty shade for eyes, an emotionless facial expression. I looked dead.

*****HD*****

I was offered a brochure by one of the promoters in the shopping mall I had decided to trespass on. I politely declined and continued on my aimless stroll. I catch sight of kids running around and screaming, oblivious to the world, ignorant to how life can change in just a snap of fingers. A small boy nearly rammed into me as he laughed at being chased by his younger brother. I looked at my watch. A few minutes to midnight. I heaved a sigh and exited the mall. Driving back in the night was not going to be a pleasant one.

*****CCW*****

I felt a sharp pain as I drove back in the night. I was slowly picking up more speed as I shifted gears, overtaking car by car. 90..100..110...120....130...140...i was reaching the 150 mark on my old Honda City when I jolted to my senses. I calmly stepped the brakes and slowed down before stopping at a traffic light. I took a deep breath and gazed into the night.

This is only the beginning of another chapter.

But it was the never the end of the previous one.

This is only the stage between the folds, the calm before the storm, the ripple before the wave.

But the pain is there, and so is the determination.

This is the only way forward.

But I will not back down.