The One I Fear And Revere..

Yami.. Subete no iro wa tada kuro to aka... Nanimo henko.. Mainichi wa onaji..

(Darkness.. All the colours were just black and red... Nothing changes.. Everyday was just the same..)

That was what i thought of the world as i fell into the darkness. I was helpless to avoid it. I can't change the mistake i have done.

But you can change it.

I was left stranded and shuddering in the cold. Alone. In the darkness.

You are not alone.

In the mist of the blackness that began to engulf me, i could hear a voice. It must be my imagination.

Accept me. Let me be the one to burden the guilt.

I could hear it again. Who was it? I looked down at my bloodstained hands; the blood was still fresh. It wasn't my blood. Whose was it? I don't recall anything.

Accept me. Accept my existence.

Who is it?

Let me be your chevalier.

The voice is calling to me. But what is it?

I am your wrath, anger and hatred.

Is that all?

I am your negative just as you are my positive. Accept yourself. Accept my existence.

Ah. I remember. I gave away a part of my emotions. The negative side of me. I gave it an existence. An existence by the name of He-

Yes. That is who i am. Now, accept me.

Yes. I will.

Very well. I will be the one to bring you out of the darkness. I will free your soul of guilt. I will be your guilt. I am your blade when you need it. My name is-

I remember it now. He is the one i fear and revere. The ultimately superior form of me. The one who will be the final me standing. The one i created in my wish to be two separate existences. His name is ...

HD.

CCW

Back ...

After a long while, I'm back.

Yes.

My first post after what seems to be a very long period of time. Of course, its not that i do not have the time. Its just that there are other things that i intend to do instead of writing in my blog. I'm finally starting to feel the strain in my A-levels course. Whether or not, i can withstand the pressure, well, I'm still surviving..to say the least.

With Further Mathematics finally in my timetable, my leisure time for Maths just went down the drain. Even Nicholas and Heng Shuh Peih, the two ultimately superior students in my class, are finding it hard to cope. How then, shall i cope?

Yes, i do admit that by saying Further Maths is easy previously, i'm delusioning myself on the prospects of an easy life.

How pathetically wrong i am.

I do not feel the same strain with the other subjects, that i am thankful. That DOES NOT mean that i am taking the other subjects lightly. I am moving forward, yes, but it will take a millenia before i can actually say that the A-level subjects are easy. Hard? no. Complicating? yes.

I still hold on to the statement i made not too long ago that Further Maths is NOT hard. It is complicating and stressful but to use the word "hard" or "difficult" would be too harsh.

But, seriously, college life is taking its toll on me.

Heck, I can't even keep in contact with any of my old friends. The only old friends that i do keep in contact with is Alex and Ramaraj. This clearly shows how college life has made me separated.

But, hell, I got new friends and new adversaries so i guess that's how life goes on. I still have an article which i intend to post here in the near future. But more of that on another time.

I should probably buck up in my college studies.. Maybe its high time i let him run loose, shall I?

What's gone is gone. But what's not found can still be unearth as long as we will it to be.

CCW