Smoke and kill.. Books and will

I drove to college on a cold morning at 6.45. It had been raining the previous night. I parked my car just a few meters away from college and sighed as I got out. Today was going to be just another day. Nothing ever changes in the way i run my life. Nothing new as always. I opened the front portion of my bag and took out a cigarette. Kent, i thought. " Dude, you gotta be kidding me," I muttered as i lighted the cigarette. I stood there staring into space, puffing away and wondering.. whether i should have a change..

"Why think when you can make it happen?" a voice spoke. I snapped out of my reverie and turned around. HD stood on the other side of my car, looking at me with that serious look he has sometimes. "Mornin'" I muttered,"Hard to change if there isn't anything there for change.."

"Tch"

HD shook his head. "Look at you.. I gotta admit, I'm surprised that you actually tried smoking. And here's the one who said that smoking kills." I laughed as he said that. "True," I admitted, "But of course, that much has changed isn't it?" HD gave a short laugh before becoming serious again. "I heard the problem at home.. You okay with it?" he asked. I lowered my cigarette and stared at him. "Hard to keep secrets from you isn't it?" I asked. I stared at the cars before giving my answer.

"Yeah, its cool. Ain't got the trouble to care about that.."

HD nodded. "Good," he said, "At least this time, i don't have to step in and clear your head." "Yea," I muttered,"I've got other stuff to handle.. what with my exams coming up and I still haven't finished studying through yet." "Hmmph," HD turned and walk away.

"Oh yea," he turned, " You do know it kills, don't ya? You sure you ain't gonna get addicted to it?"

I took a puff before meeting his gaze.

"Just how long have you been knowing me?"

"Just who do you think I am?"

CCW

Of Equatorial and new material

Its a bit late to be posting this but i might as well get on with it.

For the first time since the formation of Seafield's Da BL3EPZ, they have been invited to perform for someone not related to academic. Da BL3EPZ were invited to perform for the alumni dinner of Johnson's and Johnson's ex-employers and employees.

Now, this hip-hop group has been slowing regaining themselves from the disastrous performance they put up for the Leo IU the previous year. Now, with Double A and CCW in college and A.RON in Form Six, they return this year with a determination to erase the errors done previously. Starting an ecstatic performance in Taylor's Acoustic Night and then a rather abysmal performance for Taylor's Leo Installation, this invitation to perform in the Alumni dinner was like a wake up call.

Despite missing Double A, who could not make it, Da BL3EPZ made sure it was a trinity by bringing in another beatboxer/ex-classmate, Ram. A.RON, Ram and CCW. Together, they performed in the dinner themed "Friends for Life" under the name Da BL3EPZ Ext3nded, signifying the new change of the group.

And when i say new material, i really mean new material. The group managed to make a good cover of the Bill Withers song, Lean On Me, with Ram on the beats and CCW and A.RON on vocals. With that, Da BL3EPZ brings in a new style into the way they perform and also a new member as Ram becomes a member of Da BL3EPZ.

What else can Da BL3EPZ offer in times to come? Only time can tell.

HD

The One I Fear And Revere..

Yami.. Subete no iro wa tada kuro to aka... Nanimo henko.. Mainichi wa onaji..

(Darkness.. All the colours were just black and red... Nothing changes.. Everyday was just the same..)

That was what i thought of the world as i fell into the darkness. I was helpless to avoid it. I can't change the mistake i have done.

But you can change it.

I was left stranded and shuddering in the cold. Alone. In the darkness.

You are not alone.

In the mist of the blackness that began to engulf me, i could hear a voice. It must be my imagination.

Accept me. Let me be the one to burden the guilt.

I could hear it again. Who was it? I looked down at my bloodstained hands; the blood was still fresh. It wasn't my blood. Whose was it? I don't recall anything.

Accept me. Accept my existence.

Who is it?

Let me be your chevalier.

The voice is calling to me. But what is it?

I am your wrath, anger and hatred.

Is that all?

I am your negative just as you are my positive. Accept yourself. Accept my existence.

Ah. I remember. I gave away a part of my emotions. The negative side of me. I gave it an existence. An existence by the name of He-

Yes. That is who i am. Now, accept me.

Yes. I will.

Very well. I will be the one to bring you out of the darkness. I will free your soul of guilt. I will be your guilt. I am your blade when you need it. My name is-

I remember it now. He is the one i fear and revere. The ultimately superior form of me. The one who will be the final me standing. The one i created in my wish to be two separate existences. His name is ...

HD.

CCW

Back ...

After a long while, I'm back.

Yes.

My first post after what seems to be a very long period of time. Of course, its not that i do not have the time. Its just that there are other things that i intend to do instead of writing in my blog. I'm finally starting to feel the strain in my A-levels course. Whether or not, i can withstand the pressure, well, I'm still surviving..to say the least.

With Further Mathematics finally in my timetable, my leisure time for Maths just went down the drain. Even Nicholas and Heng Shuh Peih, the two ultimately superior students in my class, are finding it hard to cope. How then, shall i cope?

Yes, i do admit that by saying Further Maths is easy previously, i'm delusioning myself on the prospects of an easy life.

How pathetically wrong i am.

I do not feel the same strain with the other subjects, that i am thankful. That DOES NOT mean that i am taking the other subjects lightly. I am moving forward, yes, but it will take a millenia before i can actually say that the A-level subjects are easy. Hard? no. Complicating? yes.

I still hold on to the statement i made not too long ago that Further Maths is NOT hard. It is complicating and stressful but to use the word "hard" or "difficult" would be too harsh.

But, seriously, college life is taking its toll on me.

Heck, I can't even keep in contact with any of my old friends. The only old friends that i do keep in contact with is Alex and Ramaraj. This clearly shows how college life has made me separated.

But, hell, I got new friends and new adversaries so i guess that's how life goes on. I still have an article which i intend to post here in the near future. But more of that on another time.

I should probably buck up in my college studies.. Maybe its high time i let him run loose, shall I?

What's gone is gone. But what's not found can still be unearth as long as we will it to be.

CCW

It was a blast while it lasted ..

It certainly was a blast as we met up for about one of the last times we could ever meet up in high school .. and yes .. it was fun while it lasted ..

High school ..

The life we enjoyed when we were in Form 1 till Form 5 . The life we came to like as we learned various subjects , further increasing our knowledge .. if only , for the moment .

It was fun while it lasted .

Now, the times have slowly evolved . We adjust ourselves to new surroundings. We adept to our new life . We lose friends and gained new ones in return .

That cycle does not end .

We will forever be changing . We will never stop . While the Earth continues to spin on its axis , we will pursue greater heights , never stopping .. even if we are rotting six feet under .

We will NEVER EVER stop .

That is why we humans are to be differentiated from animals . We understand the truth in words when we see it . And we know what to do ..

Do we?

CCW

Words from the wise ..

If you can see the future , don't ever look back . Cast off your fear . Look forward . Go forward . Never stand still . Retreat and you will age . Hesitate and you will die .

Being Where I Belonged

I sighed as i made my way to the library after the Maths period was over. "Now, to spend the hour doing nothing until the club meeting....Now why don't you come out, HD?" I muttered. He stepped out into the light with a frown on his face. "Funny,"he said,"Didn't know you knew i was there.."I snorted and sighed again.

HD laughed."What's with that stupid face of yours? You look like a dead person."he asked. I looked at him and gazed at the numerous number of people that were coming out of and going into the library. "Have you ever felt that you can't control your life and that something is pulling the strings for you? Sometimes, it pulls you in the correct direction.. Sometimes, it brings you to where you don't feel nice at all." HD looked at me, his brow creasing.

"The same question again?" he asked, "You truly never change,huh? Hmm.. I had my fill of life though yes of course, everybody goes through the "pulling strings" thingy.." We walked down to the cafeteria and grabbed a can of coffee each. "I suspect this has something to do with your parents?"he asked. I snorted. "Cheh, no way i can hide things from you,eh? Well, more or less.. Its just that, my dad's been pestering me to apply for scholarships until today...". It was HD's turn to snort. "And here i was thinking what was the problem.. Hmm, you are who you are. And you do what you do. No change in that. You choose what you wanna do and don't listen to people pestering you. That's how you live in life. You take the bull by the horns and you do it your way. Though, in my case, it goes further,"he added as he gave his wicked smile.

"I kill those who get in my way."

I looked at him and laughed."But of course,"he continued,"that would be unwise and irrational at this situation. All i'm saying is that you gotta just believe in yourself and don't let other people intervene in your course. You might meet obstacles. but you know what to do with the obstacles, do you?" he asked. I nodded.

"Of course. Just who do you think i am?"

HD smiled. "Glad that's sorted out,"he said. He looked at the rainy sky that perfectly suited my emotions at that particular time. "If that is all, i have an appointment to catch.. I'll see you around.. real soon"he said before departing. " Oh and remember one thing,"he said as he left.

"If you know where your heart belongs, then you will know where you actually belong? And I don't give a damn if you get it or not"he smiled and waved goodbye.

I stared at the open sky and the continuously pouring rain. Where I belonged,huh?,I thought. Very well, I have decided. My moves are already played. All that's left is the outcome. And, yes, I don't give a damn if they don't get it.

This is where i belong.

This is where my heart is at rest.

This is where i can truly shine.

And i don't fucking give a damn if you diss the hell out of me.

CCW