A joke i took from Bryan Chin

Murid: Selamat pagi, cikgu.
Cikgu: (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?
Murid: Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!
Cikgu: Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.
Murid: Selamat sejahtera cikgu!
Cikgu: Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari in cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?
Murid: Faham, cikgu!
Cikgu: Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.
Murid: (senyap)
Cikgu: Pandai!
Murid: Bodoh!
Cikgu: Tinggi!
Murid: Rendah!
Cikgu: Jauh!
Murid: Dekat!
Cikgu: Keadilan!
Murid: UMNO!
Cikgu: Salah!
Murid: Betul!
Cikgu: Bodoh!
Murid: Pandai!
Cikgu: Bukan!
Murid: Ya!
Cikgu: Oh Tuhan!
Murid: Oh Hamba!
Cikgu: Dengar ini!
Murid: Dengar itu!
Cikgu: Diam!
Murid: Bising!
Cikgu: Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!
Murid: Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!
Cikgu: Mati aku!
Murid: Hidup kami!
Cikgu: Rotan baru tau!
Murid: Akar lama tak tau!
Cikgu: Malas aku ajar kamu!
Murid: Rajin kami belajar cikgu!
Cikgu: Kamu gila!
Murid: Kami siuman!
Cikgu: Cukup! Cukup!
Murid: Kurang! Kurang!
Cikgu: Sudah! Sudah!
Murid: Belum! Belum!
Cikgu: Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?
Murid: Sebab kami kurang pandai!
Cikgu: Oh! Melawan!
Murid: Ah! Mengalah!
Cikgu: Kurang ajar!
Murid: Cukup belajar!
Cikgu: Habis aku!
Murid: Kekal kami!
Cikgu: O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!
Murid: K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!
Cikgu: Sudah, bodoh!
Murid: Belum, pandai!
Cikgu: Berdiri!
Murid: Duduk!
Cikgu: Saya kata UMNO salah!
Murid: Kami dengar KeADILan betul!
Cikgu: Bengang kamu ni!
Murid: Cerdik kami tu!
Cikgu: Rosak!
Murid: Baik!
Cikgu: Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!
Murid:Kami dilepaskan tengah malam itu!
Cikgu: *Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar*

Wouldn't it be great if we can shut our teachers up as easy as that?

Very frustrating ..

I went to the movie after all . After a disapproval by my parents.. i was so pissed at them ... the next day , my dad walked up to me and asked " what time is your movie ? " .. =.=

I can't say anything coz i cancelled myself out .. Then , Alex said he can fetch me from my house and then dad disapproves that .. =.= Went with Alex , Desmond , Edward , Benjamin Choo and W00 Jian Shen ... six tickets booked .. just enough for all of us ..

I don't give a damn so i just went ... [ fuck , dad's making a tantrum in my house now .. funny .. i thought only babies give tantrums .. so that means my dad's a .. ] We watched Pantas dan Garang 4 .. lolZ .. malay subtitles suck .. The fast and the furious 4 ... very nice .. i got 5 more movies to watch this year ..
1. Angels and demons
2. Wolverine the origins
3. Transformer : Rise Of The Fallen
4. Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince
5. Terminator : Salvation

haihZ , after movie .. walked around pyramid looking at clothes .. i need slacks and a formal shirt .. just realise i don't have any of them ;) .. then went for dinner with Alex and Edward ( can't count Benjamin Choo coz he didnt eat and went off before our food came... ) Very filling dinner at KimGary's .. RM 65.10 .. Ate some Chicken Chop cheese rice ... filling !!!!

haiHZ

Would life be such a pain for me at home ? The only reason i am still not pulling the trigger is that i respect them but even respect has its limits .. A beast cannot be chained forever ..

HD

Tagged by my own bro...

Here's da tag ..
1. Last beverage→Coffee
2. Last phone call→A.RON
3. Last text message→Sent to Alex to tell him my home address
4. Last song you listened to→Closer by Nine Inch Nails
5. Last time you cried →About last year .. was emoing very badly ..

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice →Nope
7. Been cheated on? →Nope
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? →Never kissed before ...
9. Lost someone special? →Hell yes .. still emoing bout it..
10. Been depressed? → Am known for copious amounts of depressing moments ..
11. Been drunk? → Yes .. twice..

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Black
13. White
14. Green

HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends → Yes
16. Fallen out of love →Yes
17. Laughed until you cried → Yeap , if someone did something extremely funny or tell a very funny joke ..
18. Met someone who changed you→ Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were→ . I guess so ..
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ Yeap
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Nope
23. How many kids do you want to have→ Would be nice to have a son and a daughter ..
24. Do you have any pets → My father's babies .. ( fish and prawns )
25. Do you want to change your name→ Am happy with my name
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Eat a cake till i can't eat no more
27. What time did you wake up today? 8.00
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→sleeping.. ( exhausted after outing with friends )
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Cannot wait for THE ONE .. XD
30. Last time you saw your father→ A couple of minutes ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My perception of life ..
32. What are you listening to right now →Pirates Of The Carribbean - He's a Pirate (DJ Tiesto Mix)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Nope
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → The fact that i have to sweep the floor ..
36. What's your real name → Chang Ching Wei
37. Relationship Status → Single.
38. Zodiac sign → Scorpio
39. Male or female→ Male.
40. Elementary→ Child Enrichment Center (CEC)
41. Middle School → Sekolah Kebangsaan Sri Subang Jaya
42. High school → SMK Seafield
43. Hair color →Black
44. Long or short → Medium for now since me haven't cut me hair
45. Height → 160 cm +
47. What do you like about yourself? Rather capable of doing many things .. jack-of-all-trades if it pleases you ..
48. Piercings → Nope
49. Tattoos → Nope ... Might get one after college
50. Righty or lefty → Righty

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery →Never been for one ..
52. First piercing →Nope
53. First tattoo → Nope
54. First best friend → Ramaraj a/l Sundraraj
55. First sport you joined → Football ... should be
56. First pet → Fish
57. First vacation→ Pulau Pinang
58. First concert → Kindergarden , and if performing in the IUs are counted as concerts ..
59. First crush → In standard 4.. didn't turn out well ... cursed love life .. XD
60. First alcohol drink → Red wine ..
62. Drinking → Water
63. I'm about to → Dota
64. Listening to → Decode by Paramore
65. Waiting for →Dotaing with pubs..
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? Yes
67. Want to get married? Yes.. obviously i think ... LOLZ
68. Careers in mind? Biotech engineer .. possibly a B-side artiste ... mainly beatboxing .

WHICH IS BETTER IN A PARTNER?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes
70. Hugs or kisses →Kisses
71. Shorter or taller → Shorter
72. Older or Younger → Younger or same age
73. Romantic or spontaneous → romantic
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice arms
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Depends
76. Sensitive or loud → None
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ None

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → No
80. Drank hard liquor → No
81. Lost glasses/contacts → No
82. Sex on first date → No
83. Broken someone's heart → Yes..
84. Had your own heart broken → Yes
85. Been arrested? Yes . was effing convicted for copying in exams in form 1 ( fuck no!! i just forgot to keep the book !! Ask my friends .. They bear witness .. ) . then was convicted for stealing racquet .. had a surat amaran for that ( it wasn't true either ) .. thats just about the top two of my arrests .. i think stil got 3 more .
86. Turned someone down → Yes
87. Cried when someone died → No .. hardly emotional when it comes to death .. might write something about this ...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself →Yes
90. Miracles → Always wished for it to happen and it happened !!
91. Love at first sight → Yeah ..
92. Heaven → Yes
93. Santa Claus → No
94. Kissing on the first date? → Nope
95. Angels → Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes..
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? →Nope
98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? As long as i believe i can ..... I will ..
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? My friends

100. Tag 10 ppl? who?
1. Jian Shen
2. Wei Mund
3. Edward
4. Benjamin Choo
5. Looi Yih Foo
6. Shawn Hoong
7. 4C 2008
8. A.RON ( he won't do it but oh well .. )
9. Beh Khai Tsen
10. Liann Goh

HD..

Trapped

FUCK !!

You wanna know why i started my post with the f-word ? Well , hear ye ! hear ye ! Listen to my plight that befell me and wonder to yourself as to whether my life is as trapped as hell ...

I was supposed to go for taekwondo tomorrow .. and then stay in Alex's house until 12 when we will head to sunway pyramid for the fast and the furious 4 at 2.30 .. i had it arranged with alex .. talked to mum and then .. and then .........

MY F$#@ING DAD disapproved and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! I aint going ...

This is SHIT !!!!

BLOODY CRAP

HD

Conscience : To Do Or Not To Do ?

I remember just recently when i posted something about chances , crossroads and decisions [http://changchingwei.blogspot.com/2009/03/nagging-thoughts-of-lost-soul.html] . Even as i continued my thoughts on that ambiguous matter , it has become an impact in my life as well as all around me . In a way to relax myself , i decided to express my feelings on a rather delicate matter known to people as the human conscience .
A man without a mind is no man at all . However , a man is still a man without a conscience . There are many aspects that differentiate one who has a conscience and one who has not a conscience . Personally , i believe that a conscience paves a way to a better life as well as a better decision-making self .
If indeed a conscience would lead to a better decision-making , why then must there be controversies whenever a decision is made ? Why would some people inch away from the most logical of choices and instead fight a losing battle ? One human's perception is another human's confusion . Think about it . In this place called Earth , NO man can think in the same way as another . Which is why there is a conscience to guide us , aid us and give us light on a current situation .

WHAT IS A CONSCIENCE ?

A conscience is like your inner self . It is your voice that speaks when you think quietly . You can actually declare it as GOOD CONSCIENCE ( GC ) and BAD CONSCIENCE ( BC ) . Now , don't get me wrong ! A conscience is not actually a bad character in you . It is merely the advisor , both innocent and malicious ...

As i write this post , i flashback to a painful memory that has made me realize just how powerful the influence of a conscience is . It involves four main characters ( friends to each other ) [ for personal reasons , these people are hidden under alphabets to reserve privacy ] . They are named A, B , C and D . A is a rule-abiding prefect who holds an important post in the committee board . B was a class monitor and had a few attitude problems [ very much life F in one of my previous post ] . C was a normal guy and D was perhaps an introvert of sorts . { I shall relate this story as though i knew what each and everyone of them was thinking )

Now , it was a Friday . B and C brought their handphones in order to send a song via Bluetooth . They had in in their assumption that there will be no spotcheck on that day . Unfortunately , there was . ( a little note here , D was cleared in the spotcheck carrying nothing illegal but forgetting to bring his pencil box =.= ) Obviously , a handphone is illegal . C was nervous . In order to ensure that his handphone might remain unconfiscated , he asked A to check his bag . What do you suppose A found ? A handphone staring in front of him in the bag . A was dumbfounded . GC was screaming at him to just confiscate the phone . BC was adamant to protecting his friend . C was pleading to A to not confiscate the phone . A , after a talk with his fellow colleagues decided to forgo it for this once . However , A wanted to make sure that B did not bring his phone to . C had , in his plead , told A that B had brought his phone too , in a fit of justified equality . D had also let slip suggestively that there was a side pocket in B's bag . A went to check B's bag , anticipating the worst . Lo and behold , a handphone was spotted . A was in a big dilemma now . Should he expose his friends ? Or should he let them go ? He cursed the fact that he was the one chosen to inspect C's bag . GC pointed out that he should just turn them in so as to not tarnish his reputation . BC was in for giving his friends a chance . Still confused , uncertain and unconvinced , A allowed them to hold on to their phones , aganst his better judgement .

Now , you can see the turmoil that strikes the core of people . To do or not to do ? That's the question . A part of you is convinced that he is right while another is stating that he is wrong . What should one do ? Unfortunately , i'm here not to provide an answer to that but to merely state the implications , complications and the magnitude of the problem of making a decision , with the aid of our conscience .

A return to the above story ; Put yourself in A's position .

What would you have done ?

Bearing in mind that those are your good friends who have been with you through rain and shine . Would a tarnished reputation be worthwhile for a continuous confusion in your mind ? Will a pair of good friends overpower the need to abide to the rules ? True , rules are meant to be broken , as many would second that motion . BUT , keeping in mind that you have an important post , what would you act ? How would you act ?

These things .. convoluted as they might be , revolves around your thinking .. Can the bad conscience overtake your good conscience ? Can you choose between what is wrong and what is right ? You might escape once but you can never escape all the time . Eventually , each of us would have to rely on his or her conscience to handle a situation .

Even i have a serious problem with my conscience . Being the Lost Soul does not stop me from having to make tough decisions that require my conscience to understand the magnitude of the situation . A conscience stops you from making wrong moves . It is an impulsion . A force that drives you ...

Suppose you can't control your conscience ? Or you have no idea how to differentiate the thoughts of your conscience ? You would be led to bad ending if that is so .

It hath been as it hath always been . A conscience doth shape thy words and thy thoughts .

One last thing before winding this up .. D's conscience is making him very confused now .. Would you agree with me that the above situation might not have occured if D had not slipped suggestively the fact that B had a side pocket in his bag ?
It remains to be seen ....

Till then ..

HD

Are u dirty-minded ??????

Check your Dirty IQ! Questions:

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?

Answers:

1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course!

Now Really! Just what were you thinking?

Classic joke.

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

A classic joke but it still manages to make me smile after a tired day..